


Unrequited

by Tousled_Sky



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Character Study, Ending Relationship, Indifferent Shizuo, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 08:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10987173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tousled_Sky/pseuds/Tousled_Sky
Summary: "No, Shizuo wasn't a human, because humans were simply amusing to Izaya. Shizuo was more than that - he was intriguing, captivating, breathtaking.Shizuo was different. He was special.To Izaya, Shizuo was irreplaceable."





	Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TeamAlphaQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamAlphaQ/gifts).



> So we're back to angst now.  
> This is an idea I've had in my mind for quite a while now, but it took me a while to get around to writing a second and final draft of it. Hope you enjoy this tale of my Poor Suffering Boy, loves.

The most terrible day, Izaya thinks, is the day that Shizuo no longer gave chase to Izaya.

  
Shizuo had never felt the same way about this game that Izaya had. While Izaya loved to tear through the streets and allies of Ikebukuro, loved to draw out the most animalistic parts of Shizuo and put them on display before all of Tokyo, loved the fire in his veins and the thumping in his mind that the chase gave him, Shizuo hated it all. To Shizuo, the chases were an annoying chore - just driving Izaya out of Ikebukuro again. They held none of the special qualities for Shizuo that they held for Izaya.

Even more so, Izaya realizes now, Shizuo had never felt the way about Izaya that Izaya felt about Shizuo. Now, it wasn't like Izaya was in secret love with Shizuo or something - he didn't spend nights with "tears dripping down onto the lined paper of his journal, smudging the kanji of the poems he'd constructed about Shizuo", or something equally disgusting - but he did feel an...attachment to Shizuo. An attachment quite different to any other one that Izaya had, like Izaya's love for humanity. Because Shizuo wasn't human - he couldn't be, because Izaya loved humans and Izaya hated Shizuo. 

But there was more to it than that. Izaya loved humans, but humans were also his playthings - toys that were easily replaceable if he happened to break one, be it on accident or on purpose.

Shizuo was not so easily replaceable. Shizuo was a freak, an anomaly, a rarity. Shizuo was a monster - the likes of which Izaya had never seen before and doubted he would ever see again. 

So no, Shizuo wasn't a human, because humans were simply amusing to Izaya. Shizuo was more than that - he was intriguing, captivating, breathtaking. His destruction left Izaya in awe like he was watching a summer storm in the heavens - the blond's eyes crackling like lightning, his screams like thunder.

Indeed, Izaya did not love Shizuo - he hated the blond. But that very detail made Shizuo unique to the raven, because Izaya loved every being except for Shizuo. And this made Shizuo different. Made him special to Izaya.

To Izaya, Shizuo was irreplaceable.

  
But Shizuo didn't feel the same way about Izaya. Yes, Shizuo also hated Izaya, but that was only half of the story. Izaya loved to hate Shizuo, and loved to be hated by Shizuo. Shizuo, on the other hand, hated to hate Izaya, and hated being hated. He got no satisfaction from their relationship, took no joy in their alleyway scrapes.

Shizuo may have been the definition of a beast, but he didn't like holding the title of monster. He might have been violent, but Shizuo hated violence, detested aggression.

  
Violence and aggression is all Izaya's ever known, ever loved.

And these chases - full of danger, full of energy, full of life - were a wonderful thing for Izaya.

Until the day that they were taken from him by his supplier.

The day had the potential to be average, and indeed, had every indication that it would be a normal one. And the meeting between the two enemies was a scene that had played out in Ikebukuro a million times before, a familar prologue - an encounter that made Shizuo's rage build, that made Izaya's heart thump, that made onlookers whisper amongst themselves and pull out cell phones to record; because everyone knew what happened when Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya crossed paths.

That was exactly how it began - Shizuo and Izaya happening upon each other in a crowded city square in Ikebukuro at dusk one summer evening.

  
(But that's not quite it, no - it wasn't just them "happening upon each other" because it wasn't just a chance meeting; it wasn't that they just so happened to be in the same place at the same time. Instead, the encounter had been initiated by Izaya - he had went and searched for Shizuo in the city, in their city. And Izaya thinks, in retrospect, that's why it hurt so much worse - because that was a night he had been so excited for a tussle with his enemy, a chase with his monster, and that was the night their bridge was burned forever).

  
That night, when Izaya and Shizuo had locked eyes across the citizens of Tokyo, Izaya was alone as per usual, but Shizuo was with company - flanked on either side by his senpai and his kouhai.

Now, Izaya already didn't like the fact that Shizuo had friends - a monster like him should be feared by people, but somehow he drew them in like followers to a messiah (while Izaya, on the other hand, was shunned like the devil - the raven couldn't make a friend to save his life). But it was Vorona that Izaya _really did not like_. Tom had never quite been an antidote to the posion of Shizuo's fury - Izaya had no issue drawing Shizuo away from Tom for a chase through Tokyo. Vorona, on the other hand, seemed to calm Shizuo's rage like she was Jesus calming the sea- turning an incredible, raging ocean storm back to calm, normal, terribly _boring_ waters.

  
And with Vorona there, Shizuo wouldn't rile at all. That isn't to say that Izaya didn't try - he did his damnedest to wind Shizuo up, but Shizuo's temper stayed even, his hackles stayed flat.

  
After a few minutes, Izaya grew irritated with Shizuo's lack of response and addressed it directly.

  
_"Aww, not getting angry tonight, Shizu-chan? How mature of you."_ Izaya half-drawled, half sneered. _"What's wrong? Can't stand the idea of losing to me in a chase again?"_

  
_"More like I can't stand the idea of you at all."_ Shizuo had replied, the strangeness of his voice snagging Izaya's attention and making him nervous. Because Shizuo's tone was all wrong - there was still a trace of anger there, but what anger there was in his voice was too distant, too little - like a gunfight on a muted television. His voice was so terribly calm, so inordinately final - there was no passion behind the words, like he had made up his mind about them so long ago that they were just like simple facts. _"I'm not going to chase you anymore, Izaya. I never want to see you again. Fuck off."_

He turned away and started to walk off, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like he wasn't upset at all by the thought of burning his bridge with his nemesis, like he was fine with never seeing Izaya again.

Izaya, on the other hand, was shaken - quite so. He hadn't thought there would be a day when his presence didn't set Shizuo off into a rage; hadn't imagined that it was possible that Shizuo could be indifferent to Izaya. The fact that he could left Izaya shocked, and more that that, angry. He was angry because this calm reaction wasn't the one he wanted, the one he needed. Izaya desired noise, Izaya demanded noise; he _had_ to have a shouting, screaming, running reaction. 

Distantly, he felt much like a school yard bully who was stumped after the student he was picking on ignored his insult instead of crying over it - he felt childish and ridiculous. And in retrospect, he supposes it was childish - after all, this entire rivalry had been started when they were just children on the field of Raira Academy. This hate was a game made and played by high schoolers.

And though they had been fifteen that day they met, that day this game of hatred began; they were twenty-three now. High school had been almost a decade ago.

Shizuo had grown out of this game since high school. 

Izaya had not.

  
And that was why he called out a last, almost desperate taunt; _"How sad, Shizu-chan! You know you're a monster who would kill me, so you just avoid me. What a cowardly move."_

  
Shizuo turned back to his enemy one last time, and Izaya felt unsettled by his eyes - it felt like they were missing something. _"You're the coward, Izaya. You run from me, you run from your friends, you run from your problems. I'm not going to be a part of your life anymore."_

_"Goodbye."_

Izaya realized what was missing from his eyes when Shizuo began speaking again with that too-calm voice. It was the burning passion of anger that had been present in every other one of their chases. The look that meant Shizuo _cared_ about catching Izaya, _wanted_ to catch Izaya, _hated_ Izaya.

  
Izaya was sure Shizuo still hated him, but this way was different. This wasn't the type of hate that made Shizuo want to find Izaya, need to chase Izaya. 

Though Shizuo may have been irreplaceable to Izaya, Izaya had never been the same to Shizuo. No, Izaya had never been anything more than a thorn in the side to Shizuo - something he hated and would rather be rid of forever.

So the hate that Shizuo held for Izaya was not the same obsessive burn that Izaya harbored for the blond, but instead, was a hate where he genuinely didn't want Izaya in his life. Didn't want to see him ever again.

And though Izaya may not have grown out of this game like Shizuo had, he knew better than to make a fool out of himself by calling out again - like a high school girl who was trying to keep her boyfriend from leaving.

(Strangely enough, that's also exactly how he felt - like he was being broken up with. Like he was being betrayed by someone he trusted. Like he was being abandoned by a friend.

...What a ridiculous, stupid thing to feel.)

So this time, when Shizuo turned away, Izaya didn't call out again. Instead, he just laughed and turned as well, walking away with a bounce in his step and a smile on his face the whole way home.

(But the mask was a bit harder to hold on than usual - the plastic stuck easier to Izaya's skin when it wasn't frosted over with the cold of rejection, iced with the freezing sting of silence.)

  
That was the first time Izaya went home from an encounter with Shizuo feeling not fire in his veins, but anesthesia.

Felt numb rather than burnt.

And the numbness hurt worse.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Submitted this to TeamAlphaQ's fun Shizaya Themed Writing Exchange! The theme is the emotion of "Unrequited Love" - I know it's not really "love", but I think it's about as close as these two are going to get, haha.  
> TeamAlphaQ, I hope you enjoyed this! And if you do accept my story to your collection, for my return oneshot, I'd love either of two options. Number one is a sequel chapter to this story - I'd love to see what direction you'd take my story in! Preferably with angsty Izaya and a makeup between Shizuo and Izaya because I'm a sucker for fluff like that (even if I can't write it myself, haha). Number two is a fic where Shizuo is pining after Izaya - I don't see a lot of those, and I think it'd be an interesting angle! Feel free to write either - whatever you write is sure to be amazing! (just no smut, please <3)  
> And to all my other lovely readers - thanks for reading, and leave a review! <3


End file.
